Reeves slips into yoga voice to try to soothe fears over costs of Trump’s war

## Summary
Photograph: House of Commons/PA View image in fullscreen Rachel Reeves in the Commons: all that was missing was some pan pipes as background music. Photograph: House of Commons/PA Reeves slips into yoga voice to try to soothe fears over costs of Trump’s war John Crace The chancellor was meant to set out her contingency plans but it was an announcement without any announcements in it Y ou have to feel a bit sorry for the chancellor. And Reeves can’t even begin to assess the damage because there is no end to the war in sight. Explore more on these topics Rachel Reeves The politics sketch Mel Stride Economic policy House of Commons comment Share Reuse this content

## Article Content
Rachel Reeves in the Commons: all that was missing was some pan pipes as background music.
Photograph: House of Commons/PA
View image in fullscreen
Rachel Reeves in the Commons: all that was missing was some pan pipes as background music.
Photograph: House of Commons/PA
Reeves slips into yoga voice to try to soothe fears over costs of Trump’s war
John Crace
The chancellor was meant to set out her contingency plans but it was an announcement without any announcements in it
Y
ou have to feel a bit sorry for the chancellor. Roughly four weeks ago,
Rachel Reeves
had come to the Commons to deliver her spring statement. A moderately upbeat picture of the nation’s finances that didn’t necessarily coincide with people’s lived experience. Still, it more or less did the trick. Bought her another six months until the autumn budget. Or so she thought.
Now, thanks to the orange manchild sociopath in the White House, her forecasts are in tatters. And Reeves can’t even begin to assess the damage because there is no end to the war in sight. In the best-case scenario, the economy might just be in intensive care. The worst doesn’t bear thinking about. A full-scale financial meltdown. There again, we don’t even know what the world will look like in the next few weeks, let alone the next six months.
The only comfort for Reeves is this isn’t personal. When it comes to war, Donald Trump has broken the habit of a lifetime and been genuinely inclusive. Equal opportunities. He’s not just happy to take the US down with him. He won’t rest until he’s also completely screwed over the rest of the world.
Every country gets to feel the aftershocks of his reckless dysfunctionality. It’s a war where everyone but The Donald gets to pay for his decision. A global regressive tax for the pleasure of the Americans voting Trump into the White House.
That still left the chancellor with some sorting out to do, mind. So on Tuesday lunchtime, Rachel came to the Commons to announce what contingency measures she had in mind if – when – things got even worse. No one for a minute believes there is a chance of things getting unexpectedly better. Since Brexit, it feels like we have been on a never-ending doom loop. Only it was an announcement without any announcements in it. More a holding operation.
On days like this, you get the feeling that the government really doesn’t know any more than the rest of us. That it also spends its time trying to analyse the president’s Truth Social posts and respond to them. A hopeless task because not even Trump knows what he is going to be doing in a few hours’ time, let alone a few days.
He is both winning the war and not winning it enough. He’s a one-man dialectician. Trying to second guess the mind, if you can call it that, of The Donald is an act of futility. To base a country’s economic future on it an act of existential despair.
But needs must. So Reeves began with the caveat that everything she was saying was subject to a health warning. If the war went on for a few months, we’d all be better off dying today. She then slipped into her finest yoga meditation voice. The one that puts you to sleep in seconds. All that was missing was some mystic pan pipes as background music. It was oddly soothing.
Everything was going to be just fine, she said, because the government had already taken the measures to keep us all safe and well. Think of the children who were benefiting from free breakfast clubs. Think of the families who would get help with the abolition of the hated two-child benefit cap. Every cabinet minister is now under orders to call the two-child benefit cap “hated”
.
Even though it had been government policy to keep it until recently. Still, the eyes began to close. And no one thought to ask what any of this had to do with energy prices.
We moved on. Reeves had spent a lot of time collaborating with our European allies. And she was pleased to report that they were also panicking. But nothing was off the table. We might drill for oil and gas in the North Sea. There again, we might not. And we were going big on nuclear. Sometime in the 2030s, if the country is still here.
She would work to stop price gouging and if the time came when she needed to
offer targeted support
, she would. The well-off should just see increased energy bills as their own Trump tariff. More would be revealed. Or not.
The shadow chancellor,
Mel Stride
, is always a delight in the Commons. Because he is so spectacularly out of his depth. Other shadow cabinet ministers try to conceal their hopelessness. Mel revels in his. Doesn’t care who sees his half-wittedness. His abject naivety. There’s so much that escapes him, it is almost endearing. You have to work quite hard to get the wrong end of quite so many sticks.
He has no idea the Tories were all in favour of the war that is crippling the economy. He has no idea it was the Tories who left the economy on its knees. He has no idea he was the work and pensions secretary who doubled the welfa

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## Expert Analysis

### Merits
- Think of the families who would get help with the abolition of the hated two-child benefit cap.
- Every cabinet minister is now under orders to call the two-child benefit cap “hated” .

### Areas for Consideration
- Jeremy Hunt has managed to throw off the stigma of failure and reinvent himself as an elder statesman.

### Implications
- In the best-case scenario, the economy might just be in intensive care.
- There again, we don’t even know what the world will look like in the next few weeks, let alone the next six months.
- To base a country’s economic future on it an act of existential despair.
- Even though it had been government policy to keep it until recently.

### Expert Commentary
This article covers reeves, commons, war topics. Notable strengths include discussion of reeves. Areas of concern are also raised. Readability: Flesch-Kincaid grade 0.0. Word count: 1199.